I have warned you.
Well if you insist.
 |
| Mike 2004. |
Yesterday I arrived at the hospital to discover Mike had taken a real turn for the worse. His blood pressure was dangerously low and he has neutropenic sepsis. The consultant from ITU had been down and decided it was best if he was moved as they had more one to one care and drugs that would temporarily raise his blood pressure. Mike told me all this himself, along with the prognosis of what would happen if his heart stopped or his breathing became difficult, in both cases the consultant had said with so many things already not working, there would be no point in either ventilating or performing CPU. You won't need me to tell you how I reacted. Later when Mike was in ITU the same consultant, a very nice man who obviously believes in not sugar coating things, something I actually appreciate more than "let's wait and see", repeated what he had said to Mike. The resulting effect was the same as first time.
Mike is pretty much the same this morning, it is a waiting game now to see if his stem cells start working and if they do whether they help him fight back from the unknown infection that threatens to kill him. Last night he asked me to make sure this is played at his funeral (tissues at the ready):
It is our song. Mike sang it to me over the phone while he was at the karaoke, after only a few weeks of knowing each other. I think that is when I fell head over heels in love with him. I cried then, I cry every time I hear it. It will now forever more make me cry.
Thinking about both of you. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteHoping the antibiotics are working and the stem cells re-boot. My heart aches for you both. If there was any way I could send what strength and peace of mind I have left, I surely would to help you now. xx
ReplyDeleteI've been following your reports on FB and realize how grim things are for both of you. On the night that he was taken into ICU, I woke up and tried to get on my computer as I wanted to know what was going on. We'd had a power failure due to high winds and I had to wait until the next morning to get the news.
ReplyDeleteNow today, May 29, I hear things are heading downhill again. I posted this on FB "This is one of the most difficult things to go through, Lorna, waiting and watching, feeling helpless, wishing for hope to bloom and yet there is so much love surrounding both you and Mike Gormley that if you can feel that warmth perhaps you can gain some strength from that. And you know, without a doubt that you are deeply loved by Mike as you love him, and that can never be taken away from you. I intend for you to find some relief from worry and that good friends are coming to stand in this space with you. Large, loving, virtual hug from over here coming to you now.”
And I wanted to repost it here so I can say how sad it makes me that you are both in this place. Even though we know MM is disastrous to health, well-being and mind/sanity, we think those we love (and we on the sidelines/caregivers, too) can be saved. And it is Love that saves us after all. In Mike’s musical request, while he was still able to think clearly, he was telling you that he loves you forever and he wants the rest of the world to know that, too.
I am continuing to send energy for healing and comfort for both of you and will hope for better news. With deep concern and care… Annie