Thursday 4 June 2015

A love letter straight from the heart.

My dearest darling, what is a love letter? 

I believe it is an outpouring of what is felt deep inside, what you feel in your heart. The doctors will tell you there is no emotion in the heart and yet the world over it is deep in our chests that we feel real joy and real heartache. We have had our share of both. 

They joy of simply being together, watching the swifts until late into the evening until they were replaced by bats. The joy of listening as our football team escaped relegation, sharing tears of joy. The joy we felt on our wedding day nearly four years ago. I only have to look at the photos and I can feel the happiness. So many moments of pure joy. 

The love I feel is so strong that the pain of watching you having to suffer is tearing me apart. Over the last five years we have had some very troubling times, the "dex" days and the weeks you spent ill in hospital, but we have managed to get through them all, this latest struggle though seems to be harder than any before. I can feel in my heart how unhappy you are and that hurts me almost as much as the thought of losing you completely, all I have ever wanted is for you to be happy. When you aren't I blame myself even though I know the reasons are not in my control. 

If you would let me I'd give you a kidney, I've already given you my heart. I have told you things I have never told another soul and will never tell another. We are each a missing piece from the other's jigsaw puzzle of life, without you I am incomplete. 

We cannot let it tear us apart, who else will put up with you or put up with me? So please, can we try and find some joy, I want to grow old with you.

Lorna.