As you will all know already, this past year I have been miserable, really miserable. Mike has had enough. We argue constantly. "Misery likes company."
So I have taken down my last two "negative" blog entries and I am now going to make an effort to only blog "positively" or at least more chirpily. I might still be miserable, but I won't be dragging you all down with me.
We had an appointment about Mike's next holiday yesterday (SCT) and we have been given a date of April 4th. The transplant coordinator seems quite positive about the likelihood that there will be a bed, especially as Mike needs things to happen quite quickly as he couldn't tolerate the Revlimid.
So it looks like April could be a busy month, seeds to sow and stem cells to grow. Stem cells and tomatoes.
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My opinion, even though it wasn't asked for, is that you should keep the posts up. Because they are reality. When my mom had cancer we were expecting bravery and people rallying around to help. We were expecting the eulogy of fighting to the end and a great sense of humour. Why? Because that is what we are told. We are not told the ugly. Colostomy bags blowing up. Vomiting. Fear. Resentment. Exhaustion. We are told that your entire life does a 180 and gone are the vacations and the life you had planned. You even miss out on small things like birthday parties or just going for a drive.
ReplyDeleteIt's like Facebook. We just post the positive. It isn't real and it's hurting us because we end up feeling like we are somehow defective.
Love to both of you as you go,through this brutal journey. Most days it isn't a positive one. xo
Thank you Birdie,I've put them back up. I will continue to strive to be more balanced in my blogs,even if it means being negative sometimes. X
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are "being negative ". You are just feeling emotions. Just emotions. Strong ones that are scary and frustrating. There is nothing wrong with with feeling that way.
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