As you have probably guessed I haven't lost any weight this week or if you are an optimist I haven't put any on. I only managed two healthy days before I returned to my bad habit of eating and drinking to satisfy my emotional hunger, a phrase I heard twice last night during two different TV programmes. I cannot really go into everything that has made me emotionally hungry here.
I often find myself in an endless downward spiral of I'm overweight, so I'm unhappy and unable to do things, which makes me eat, which makes me hate myself, which make me eat, which makes me unhappy, which makes Mike try and help by suggesting I try exercise, which I struggle with as I get very short of breath, which makes me eat, and so it goes on and on. I have to break the cycle, but to do so I have to try and make both myself and Mike more content, not an easy task.
I still can't believe Paula has been gone 7 months to the day.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Lorna, you seem to know yourself very well. You're dealing with a lot - taking care of and worrying about Mike, grieving for Paula. I get that exercise is difficult for you, but you have to begin somewhere. I suggest walking and gently, slowly cutting back on calories. Set a sustainable goal of perhaps losing 2 pounds a month for six months and keep walking. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteoh, lorna,
ReplyDeletei am so sorry for what you are going through. what you described was ME for a long, long time. it took both hugh and i having cancer at the same time, plus my nearly fatal high blood sugar, discovered at the time of my diagnosis to make changes. it's been a long journey,, but in a nutshell, i took care of everyone except myself - how could i not have known that?? i was a hospice nurse, i counselled cgs who were in the same boat. so i get that you KNOW - just like lovey said. perhaps the best thing you could do is to keep writing! keep telling your story - thousands of other cgs as well as those with terribly heavy hearts grieving for paula will find your words resonating with them, and that will help both you and them. you write beautifully, with honest and true words, and i hope you find that theraputic. please know i will keep you close to my heart and send you waves and waves of wishes for comfort and inspiration.
love, xoxo
karen, TC (sutherland)
It's the balance between comfort-eating and uncomfortable (waistband)eating. Because I do think she need to be kind to yourself and allow yourself treats. Maybe try to have treats that aren't edible? Like soap. Lovely smelly handmade soap. Even if it is chocolate-scented you won't be tempted to eat it... I hope. Hugs.
ReplyDelete