Friday, 31 May 2013

Awkward pause.

Awkward. That is how I feel about being an in-law in the myeloma family. Mike is well and we try to live as normally as possible, well as normal as Mike ever is. Mike's remission isn't the only reason though.

It has been creeping up on me over the last nine months or so, a sense that I don't belong. It is a very touchy and tricky situation when the people you want to support make it clear in their blogs they don't want help, sympathy, empathy, comparisons or advice, especially from someone who is only the partner of a myeloma sufferer / victim / patient / host? Even the label we use is open to ferocious debate. They are of course entitled to say whatever they want, it is after all their Myeloma journey / fight / battle. I get the anger, I'd be mad too if I was under 50 and diagnosed with something incurable. I wish there was a phrase book that I could use so I don't offend, I wish they could all agree on an acceptable term, but just as each person's myeloma is unique to them, so is their response and the terminology they prefer to hear.

One blogger Alex had quite a bit to say on the subject and I have to confess it has left me not saying anything much any more. How can I comment on Deborah's pain? What do I say to Wendy about her test results? 

It's easy to comment on the blogs of people who aren't touched by the big M, or who are themselves looking out for a loved one, but increasingly difficult otherwise. So if I have said anything to offend anybody out there I am truly sorry.

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