Wednesday, 24 March 2010


I know there's no such word, but it sounds good. I have always had my little fears for company, the usual fear of heights and confined spaces, including my bedroom when the lock broke and I was trapped in it, but now I have a new one. The fear that my fridge might pack up or even that we might have a long term power cut! Now both events are extremely unlikely, the fridge is only a year old and we're not living in the 1970's. Still I keep checking that the little green light is on and that the temperature isn't rising.
I'm still trying to come to terms with things which is strange because we were told at the very start that Mike would have treatment (CDT), then a harvest, then a SCT. Now that the appointments for the harvest and SCT have been made it all seems much too real. I'm starting to doubt my own ability to cope with it all.
  • The one and a half hour journeys on public transport to see Mike at the hospital. (Three hours every day on buses and trains! )
  • The seeing Mike looking so ill.
  • The empty bed at night. (I know it's the same for everyone, but humour me here!)
  • The looking after him properly while he gets back to health.

Just thinking about it all makes my head hurt.

Meanwhile my kids are all terrified that the contents of the refrigerator, namely the Neupogen, is going to jump out and get them! (The youngest is 15 so they should all know better!)


  1. OK one at a time: 1. the journeys - make yourself a selection of "lucky bag" treats to take on the bus/train and have them bagged up and ready to go - e.g. a magazine and a kitkat; an audiobook loaded up in an mp3 player and a bag of chocolate raisins; a ball of wound sock yarn, needles and a simple pattern... mix it up a bit and surprise yourself! 2.Seeing him looking ill? Tricky - but don't go in there looking grim yourself, and you might raise a smile from the patient (deely boppers on your head might be going too far but then again...)3. the empty bed. Oh wow that's a bad one. Get a cat, a kettle and mug by the bedside and a pile of wonderful inspiring reading material. And a digital radio. And an extra blanket. 4. Looking after him - you will just do it. Believe me, you will find resources you never knew about. And stock up on comfort foods like rice pudding! 5. Sore head? A bit like planning for having a baby. Get as much sleep as you can NOW and build up your reserves. 6. Kids are scared of drugs? Excellent! Five gold stars and move to the top of the class - hope they stay that way!

  2. I will be going through the same experience this summer with the cell stem transplant for my husband. I was thinking of taking a room in a hotel in the City where the transplant will take place. Have you asked the hospital where your husband will be if they make any arrangements at night for visitors (wives and husbands) such as in the hospital or in the vicinity of the hospital?