Looks can be deceptive.

Looks can be deceptive. Take this little chap.

He (let's assume it's a male)* looks so cute. His song fills my garden with such a sweet sound it fills my heart with joy. 

In actual fact he is an awful bully. Today I had a couple of visitors who I hadn't manged to spot before, I now know why. Mr. Robin attacked them as they tried to feed!

This one just about managed to get a quick beakful before the robin pecked her (let's assume it's a female)*. Her friend was acting as decoy at the time. 



*If a passing reader is able to sex my birds I will happily correct my text. 

After shock.

Some days I feel more nuts than usual. Today is one of those days. 

Yesterday we had a heated discussion over nothing and that lead to misunderstanding and hurt feelings on both sides. Today, like every other time it has happened, I find myself feeling overly sensitive and tearful and anxious and the list goes on. Does anyone else in the world suffer argument after shock? Am I the only person who takes days to recover? 

I thought I would share this photograph of Toni trying to climb a tree after a squirrel. She is my sanity.

Half way there.

Can you believe we are half way through January? Yet it is only just over a month since I had the kids over and that feels like ages ago.  January short, a month long. 

Time is a funny old thing.  It is actually eight months since Mike went in to have his SCT, and in some ways we are still only half way there as far as recovery goes. Still his platelets lurch between 30 and the heady heights of 40. Despite several transfusions his hb creeps down to a point where life is almost impossible as simply standing is too much (we are still hopeful that the transfusion he had last Thursday will be the one that keeps him above 10 / 100).

I try to hold on to time, frantically trying to make the daylight hours last longer. Yet it forever seems to be evening. I long for the spring equinox, but don't want to find myself near the end of March. Gosh it is all so confusing.

Here's looking at you red!

Yes I admit it, until relatively recently (if you can call 10 years recent) I was pretty much a no vegetables kind of gal. I would spear the odd carrot or rustle a few peas when eating out, but when it came to eating at home I didn't bother. Then through a combination of growing my own and the never ending cookery programmes which made veggies look good to eat I started trying out a few. Still I tended to stick to the same ones. 

When I went to my son's Christmas Day and his girlfriend presented us with braised red cabbage I politely tried what was one my plate. I was, at the age of 54, a red cabbage virgin! The only cabbage I had eaten previously was white cabbage, and that was in coleslaw or a kebab! Having helped with the prep I knew it had apple, cinnamon, onion and cider so I reckoned it couldn't taste that bad. It was delicious!

So yesterday I bought myself a red cabbage and made myself "redslaw". Red cabbage, red onion, red radish (well the skin is red) and carrot (okay not officially red, so why are ginger people called red heads?)*

*No offence is meant or intended, I have been ginger myself!

I tried it last night with my evening meal, the rest is for homemade burgers this evening. I enjoyed it so much that rather than throw the rest of the red cabbage away (it sits around forever in the fridge) I would pickle it. I took on board the recipe used by A. on Christmas Day and used cider vinegar along with cinnamon sticks, star anise and cloves. I hope it tastes as good as it looks, I'll let you all know in 3 weeks. 

Enough!

It's late, well late for me. I am wide awake after trying to get to sleep for over an hour and a half. I know for some people that is quite normal, but for me it is far from normal. I am one of those annoying people who falls asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow. Mike is upstairs coughing, I'm not sure he's even awake still. There's nothing new in him coughing, he's been doing it practically every night since his SCT, tonight though it has reached a point where it is annoying the hell out of me. The noise is compounded by the whistling of the wind, rattling the fence panels outside. I can't shut the window, the lack of fresh air only compounds his cough. My anxiety is heightened to such a point I wonder if I even want to continue with my life. I'm not suicidal, just not sure there's any point in continuing with the life I have. All very confusing. Trapped in a infinity loop. I have to look after him, I love him, I can't keep looking after him, it's destroying me, I have to look after him, even if he doesn't even see my suffering. Will it end?

Waste not....

Oh the hang ups of childhood. I should throw away the "Christmas baddies" and start my healthy eating, but I have never been able to throw food away, even if it is sugary and fatty. For today I will simply tell myself that the last day of the twelve days of Christmas isn't until tomorrow. 

I still have a jar of Danish Pebernødder

Second Christmas.

Yesterday we received a parcel from "The Land Down Under". Toni helped us open it.

She really does like opening presents. 

What's in the box?

Yesterday I left you all with a bit of a teaser, what was in the box?

Birdie kindly suggested that it was Ted 😂.

The present was for me from Mike. Mike had careful chosen the gift and placed it in an old shoe box, sealed the box and then given it me to wrap as he can't wrap neatly. Men!! 😄

On Christmas morning I opened the present to find:

Excuse the trellis in the background, storm Eleanor struck!

Green pixie boots!!!!

Aren't they fab? I love them. I love the colour. I love the fur-effect lining which keeps my feet warm. I love the reference to pixies (one day I will explain the relevance). I like to imagine that Paula would have approved too. 

2018 here I come!

Happy New Year! I hope you all had a pleasant Christmas. It was of course very quiet for us, Mike is still suffering with lack of energy, the sofa is his new best friend. I am doing my best to take care of him. 

Yesterday I deactivated my Facebook account, anyone who failed to give me contact details, or ask me for mine, will only have this blog (if they ever bothered to bookmark it) for news of how I am doing.  Do I feel bad about that? No, just shows how little notice people take of what others say on social media.

So dear bloggy friends, for the next twelve months, you are going to be inundated with all those food / dog / birds / garden / anything I take a fancy to, photos that once cluttered up FB. 

We'll start with a photo of Toni taken on Christmas Day and one of her new friend Ted.