Wednesday, 28 January 2015

At a loss.

You know what life is like, sometimes you just seem to see life differently to everyone else. I have no idea how nurses and HCAs cope with the tricky patients they must get sometimes. I certainly can't cope with Mike. His nausea / sickness is as bad if not worse and now EVERYTHING I do causes an outburst of temper. I can't drink coffee or tea the smell is abhorrent. Toast, no way. He can't eat or drink anything other than water and it seems I'm not meant to either. 

The smell of the washing powder on the sheets and his clothes, the toilet cleaner needed under the circumstances, the shampoo I used this morning. Don't even think of using even the most delicate of fragranced deodorant. The dish washing sent him into a frenzy of rage. 

Don't ask if he wants anything or make the mistake of not offering. Can you see where I am going with this. 

Don't go out for more than 15 minutes in case he needs something. Don't mention hospital (the GP suggested that on the phone yesterday.)

I'm sure some of you will try to be helpful, but short of popping over here to help there really isn't anything you can do. I'm so upset and so alone. I can hardly ask my kids to pop round while he is in this mood and I have no other friends or family. 

1 comment:

  1. Hi Lorna,

    I have been following you blog for some time. My husband also has MM and is in isolation at the moment, he had his stem cell transplant last Friday.

    I feel for you. This can all be so hard on everyone, not just the person with MM. There are days that I feel really down and then I vent to someone and usually feel so stupid afterwards because it wasn't actually that bad. You are trying you best and that is the best you can do. Just remember that this isn't your fault and if Mike wasn't sick he would never be so difficult. You need to look after yourself. It's important to have some time out. You need to get out for a bit, even if its to walk around the shops for a bit and stop and have a cup of coffee. I know it's difficult but delegate and get someone to come and relieve you. What will happen if you have a nervous breakdown? We are only human and no one is going to think any less of you if you tell them you need a break. It will do both you and Mike a world of good.

    Chin up and know that I am thinking of you. I am in Cape Town, South Africa but wish I could come and collect you and take you out for coffee and a huge big piece of cake.

    My blog is

    If you'd like to send me a private email you are more than welcome to: