Thursday, 9 May 2013

Go jump off a bridge!

Or not as the case may be. Mike spotted last week that Myeloma UK are holding a sponsored abseil off the Forth Rail Bridge to raise funds. It turns out that his family used to visit relatives in Edinburgh and as a child he had always wanted to go up there rather than stand at the bottom and watch the man painting it on his little seat on a rope. So Mike of course called them up and asked if he could, as a Myeloma patient, take part. The nice lady on the other end of the phone said "oh, well, I'm not sure whether it is advisable or not. I'll have to speak to a colleague and call you back." A minute later he got a call saying that if he signed a disclaimer and got a letter from his consultant then yes he could take part.  

It just so happened that yesterday afternoon Mike had an appointment to see the rather marvellous Dr SB so after the pleasantries of everything is still under control and you are doing better than I expected (the later more implied than said) Mike raised the issue of the letter. I'll skip the conversation that followed and simply say Dr SB won't be dictating to his secretary any time soon.  He did say "can't you find a safer way to raise money? Surely there has got to be an easier way?"

Mike reckons he just wants to keep his favourite guinea pig alive, which I wholeheartedly agree with. 


  1. OK, I am going against the flow here but I think he should go for it. It looks like fun!

  2. dear lorna,

    i saw your sweet message to me on alex's blog. thank you. tomorrow will be one week since hugh died, so suddenly. it just makes no sense to think he died while he was in CR from MM, and now i have to go on, fighting breast cancer without my beloved to cheer me on, to hold me when i am frightened, and to laugh out loud at so much of life that we savored and enjoyed. we had the most joyful and fulfilling bond before either of our cancers took hold, but suddenly finding ourselves each others caregiver that bond only became more profoundly special. i ask myself over and over - is it really true, is he really never coming home again? our sweet dog-girl sadie lays on the rug by the front door, watching and waiting for hugh to come home. i had to sign mothers' day cards with just my name. and last night as i was turning off my cell phone, i had the fleeting thought that, no - i better leave it on, he might call. so go the firsts of being without my beloved, and i know they will keep coming for a very long time. but i am trying to have happy,, useful things to look forward to, and to measure my being according to what both hugh and i wanted more than anything - TO LIVE. gratitude and love will always triumph in the end, but it will take me a long time to find my way. having dear friends like you, lorna, helps me have hope. thank you for your friendship and caring.

    love and best of luck to mike with the bridge adventure.
    xoxo, karen

  3. Dear Karen

    After reading Alex's blog on empathy I'm not sure whether saying I can only imagine how you are feeling is appropriate. I'll say it any way and hope you understand how heartfelt it is.
    I know how devastated I will feel if Mike goes before me and I also know that the same would be true if it was I who left Mike alone.
    It is true that I don't actually know how you feel right now, I only know how sad the imagined loss makes me feel and how the passing of others over the last 3 years has made me feel.
    Yesterday I read a blog entry by a young widower who had been left to bring up his son alone. In it he discussed how the grief for his wife was also added to by the grief of losing himself, the person he was when she was still alive. Grieving is so difficult.
    I think you are amazing in so many ways, not least of all that you are able to find the strength to visit other people's blogs when they are doing so well.

    Love Lorna xoxo

  4. dear lorna,

    i appreciate your empathy and your very kind and loving words so much. it has been my joy to be able to comment on MM blogs, and still will be. i took up my little cyber pen when hugh was first diagnosed, and got such fulfillment learning from other CGs and patients, offering support, commiseration, empathy, validation, joining in on conversations, and sharing aspects of hugh's and my story that might help others struggling with things we were only too familiar with. it gave me a voice when i was too overwhelmed to have a blog of my own, and people were so welcoming and kind to me. last year, i tip-toed into the breast cancer blogospher as well, and have made many close and beloved friends there as well. who could ever have imagined how much i would need those friendships as much as i have since hugh died?! thank you, lorna for being my friend. it is such a comfort, and a true blessing to be able to feel such loving support - it gives rise to tremendous gratitude, and as is said in an old french proverb, "gratitude is the heart's memory".

    much love, xoxo ps. i see my damned google acct - tccomments - is once again kaput - so frustrating - but it's just me,

    karen, TC