Friday, 6 July 2012

Time to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps!

I've decided it's about time we got ourselves out of the doldrums caused by too many "bad" things over such a short space of time. I know that Paula wouldn't have wanted us to be moping around forever. I still look every morning for an email from her, but that too will pass, to use an expression I've often heard.

Of course the weather doesn't help. I think we've had two dry days the past month, one was on the day of Paula's funeral and the other was yesterday. The garden has suffered for it. Nothing much has grown except the lawn which we can't cut due to the rain and the chickweed which threatens to choke everything.

Toni, who hates getting wet, certainly doesn't like the state of things. Having to "go" outside is a real problem. She firstly has to go out in the rain, which did I mention she hates and then she has to "go" on grass that is almost taller than her!
PLEASE don't make me go out :(

Actually we did try and cut the lawn yesterday but someone left the mower too close to the garage door and during the mini flood we had last Thursday, water got into the handle. Now I thought "that was a week ago, it'll have dried out by now." Obviously not given the loud bang and black smoke that billowed out of it when we tried using it! No real harm was done and Mr Lawn Mower is now at the lawn mower hospital. I on the other hand will probably never be able to look at a Flymo again without breaking out into a cold sweat.


  1. dear lorna - you are so right - paula would want us to keep on keeping on, and have some adventures and good laughs - or at least, a smile from the inside, out. which is what i had just looking at the adorable toni. what a love! is she friends with paula's buddy? thanks for the encouragement to all of us - paula would be so pleased at your effort to rally the troops. and i bet she's had a good sniggle over mr. lawn mower's rebellion. warm hugs, karen

  2. I miss Paula a whole lot, and hope Bernard and Buddy are managing somehow. I think of you and Mike missing her, too, and thank you for reminding me to get out of this funk and make her proud that I'm doing all I can for my MM relative.

  3. Hi there! I've been avoiding the MM blogs after such a lot of sad news, but that's no good at all, so I am just dropping in to say - keep up the cheerleading! Or should that be singing in the rain? Hugs.

  4. Just stopping by to see how you are doing. I see you have not posted in a while. Hope all is well.

  5. dear lorna, well, it's been a lot of ups and downs emotionally since i wrote the comment above. how about for you and micky? do you find that there are still times when the grief over the loss of paula washes over you like a big overpowering wave? that happened to me tonight - out of the blue i thought of her and the thought that we would never hear from her again felt so raw; i ended up dissolving into a big puddle of tears. my guess is that it was just a part of the journey of grieving and missing her and something that needed to happen. when i worked with hospice the social workers always spoke of "the work of grieving", which i took to mean, facing it head on, and not stuffing sadness and tears. another term i took to heart was the concept of "leaning into one's grief" and "honoring it" for what it represents - the love one has for the person who died which was and can continue to be a positive part for us who are left on earth to live what we learned was so extraordinarily admirable and loveable about the person who is gone and being so grateful she was in our life for the time we had her with us. all good thoughts - but still...god, i miss her. i think it will be awhile before i get the wind back in my sails, awhile before i can let ago of the longing for just one more post on her blog, or one more e-mail from her. if you see bernard will you tell him that i am thinking of him and buddy, as i am of you and micky, and all her friends and family and hope they are finding some small comfort in knowing how paula touched and changed the lives of so many people, all for the good? warm hugs, karen sutherland