Tuesday, 28 December 2010

And the wooden spoon goes to:


I knew that Mike’s holiday was going to be difficult for us both but I had hoped that I would find the strength and dignity displayed by those who have gone before me and coped admirably. Cassie was heavily pregnant with raging hormones but did she crumble? No. I know it’s not a competition and everyone is different, but I feel such a failure for not being able to “keep it all together”. I know that the staff looking after Mike are fantastic, it isn’t that, it’s simply my overwhelming desire to care for him that has me in a complete panic because I can’t be with him 24/7 to do so. So all I do is sit, cry, knit 6 stitches, read 1 sentence, make a drink, sit, cry, knit, read…….. the cry part takes the longest.

I wish I was on of those people who at times like this manage to keep themselves busy by cleaning the house from top to bottom. But no, I just become paralysed by it all. I can't settle to do anything, not even play an online game.

Next year I want a pony for Christmas.

1 comment:

  1. Gee Lorna - We all deal with things things in our own way and like you B too had an overwhelming desire - NOT to care for me! If it had been left to him the first time I was dramatically sick whilst on holiday and it made a huge mess, some did get the loo but most didn't, we would have just had to move rather than him clear it up!

    And he'd floated it by anyone who would listen that he may not be able to visit me everyday (he did in the end) and we live closer to the Royal than you do to QE and he can drive!

    I'll start saving for a pony - what will Toni think? ;D