|Jennifer Grey wearing it better than me.|
Today's post is about something slightly different. When I went off to university I spent my first year like everyone else in halls of residence. We shared a kitchen, communal eating space, communal utility / washing area and of course bathroom facilities. It was the communal bathroom with two showers and two baths that caused me the biggest problem. Having shared bath water with my sisters you would think I would be fine, but the second I saw other women's hair in the showers or baths I went into a complete melt down. I found myself having to clean the bath, even though I knew our lovely cleaners had already done it and you can only imagine the palaver of the showers. Hair on my feet would cause me to wretch.
I was glad to get out of halls and into my own space for the second year. Well just me and my first husband. I seemed to be fine, I guess because I was happy. Things change though don't they.
The anxiety over the years came and went. I had children and their hair didn't bother me. Then my husband left and the anxiety increased to the extent that I became fearful of my own hair and my children's if it wasn't still attached to them. I can touch it to wash it, but if a loose hair gets stuck between my fingers I have to wash it off straight away (have you tried conditioning when you have to keep rinsing the conditioner off?). I can't remove hair from my brush (my daughter used to do it for me, now it's Mike.) I have to wear rubber gloves when I dust (hair gets everywhere.) The anxiety is always worse of course when I am stressed, which is when my hair tends to fall out more frequently (or is that just imagined because my phobia is more noticeable?)
I have realised that while my hair is short the hairs aren't long enough to wrap themselves around my fingers and I have been a lot calmer. Short hair might be a plan for the future.