I had a bit of a wobble at the hospital yesterday. I was around about the time they came to give Mike his platelets and I reckoned as they were waking him, it would be a good time for Mike to take the tablets they had brought in a couple of hours before (yes I had tried to get him to take them but he was just too sleepy.) I made sure he'd got fresh water and handed him the cup, only for him to pull a face and say "I need fresh water to take them not that horrible muck." Hey, it had been a long afternoon and I burst into tears OK?
Well a couple of the staff took me to one side and made me a cuppa. They started to tell me that I needed "Me time" or I wouldn't cope and I realised I don't really get "Me time" anymore. I get up and do stuff for everyone in the house including Mike. I then go and get Mike's shopping, there is always something he needs. Then at 11:30 am off on the bus, train, train and short walk to see Mike. Sit with Mike. Then walk, train, train and bus/taxi home. Arrive 9:30 pm. Have some food. Go to bed. It's been a long 10 days.
Mike mentioned once that his holiday in May would be good practise for this one and he was right, sort of. I'm not 20 minutes walk away from the hotel, it's not Summer and I just haven't the time to fit in all the other stuff I have to do.
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Ah... "me". Now isn't this just what we were "talking" about? Isn't there someone else who could sit with Mike for an afternoon while you have a long soak in the bath at home / sleep / get your hair done? You are no use to anyone if you are a washed-out rag. I speak as one who knows. "Caring for the carer" is not just a glib expression. Have some time off and spoil yourself - the sky won't fall down for a couple of hours, honest!
ReplyDeleteI haven't got a bath or a shower yet, just my kitchen sink. I appreciate what you are trying to say, but there isn't much choice I've just got to get on with it. x x
ReplyDeleteDo they not have any patient advocates who can give you a bit a break? Roo is right about taking some time and in my experience as a caregiver, you lose effectiveness if you are worn out. I am intending a small miracle of a friend who can sit with him for a spell...
ReplyDeleteAll I could think of was a nice relaxing bath but then thought the neighbours might get an eyeful if you attempted one in the kitchen sink.
ReplyDeleteAlthough if you got arrested for public indecency you'd get to put your feet up. ;D